More Great Commentary from the Southwest and Tom Bliss

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Love that wacky, kooky Barack and his secret way of getting women to swoon.

If you understand that he says exactly the opposite of what he means, you too can break the code.

If you can take the punishment, try to listen to an entire Obamafuscation between now and next week’s Ohio and Texas primaries without hitting “mute” on your remote—and without throwing up in your mouth a little bit.

And listen, carefully. There’s a big surprise in every O-ration if you know what to look for.

When Obama speaks, there’s a pattern so subtle in his phrasing that even National Reconnaissance Office code breakers have missed it. But I have cracked the Obamacode and am about to blow the lid off the entire campaign.

In fact, if you can decipher certain inflections and phrases, you will be astounded. And impressed. This candidate is far deeper, much more sincere and simply funnier than anyone outside his camp has come to know.

The “O-decoder TM” is the key and I have created it myself, using ordinary household tools.

Why hasn’t anyone thought of this up to now??

Like most people, I’ve seen the DaVinci Code and read the Bible Code and have a WWII Enigma machine on my desk. I simply strung together every 16th vowel and third consonant from Barack’s speeches and, then factored in the Apollo 13 gravitational flight path algorithms to figure it out. Anyone could have done it. Really.

My conclusion? This man is brilliant. 

Example 1: When I ran the text of Barack’s last 67 stump speeches (which are essentially identical) through my code breaking system, I noticed a pattern in every speech. When he says “change we can believe in,” the decoder reads:

”Wound my heart with a monotonous languor”.

I knew I had seen this before, somewhere. Yes! He borrowed it from British intelligence (MI5) and the French resistance; these words were broadcast by the BBC on June 5th, 1944 at 24:00 hours to launch the invasion of Normandy.

D-Day!

So, what was Barack telling us? I believe it’s an analogy. Maybe an anagram. Whatever.

Here it is: He will invade Iran, kick sand in Ahmadinejad’s face and march to Berlin in 10 months!

O-Day!

Well, that’s what the O-decoder TM said and I’m pretty sure I’ve got it mostly right, except for the Berlin part.

But whatever he says, he’s yanking our chains! He really means something entirely, completely opposite.

This discovery too seemed eerily familiar. Could the Obamacode be borrowed—even plagiarized from someplace?

I have incontrovertible evidence that the Obama campaign has consulted with the screenwriters who invented George Costanza, (the Jerry Seinfeld character who couldn’t score with chicks). 

George Costanza realized that everything he normally thought or said was unattractive to women and decided to say and do the opposite of every impulse he had—to become wildly successful.

Barack is a skinny guy with big ears. But he is wildly successful with chicks. Lib chicks anyway—like The Oprah, the panel from the View. Probably Jane Fonda too.

To make him attractive, his handlers actually stole the Costanza Code to disguise his real intentions when it comes to the economy, big oil, taxation, employment and dozens of other campaign issues.

Everything he says is the opposite of what he thinks and what he knows is right!

Nothing else could possibly explain his position on anything.

When he says, “Raise taxes to grow the economy!” my O-decoder TM system shows that what he really means is, “I know that taxes are too high and always hurt the formation of capital and slow down both job creation and tax revenues.”

Or when he says, ”I’ll get us out of Iraq!” he’s really saying, “I’ll get us out of Iraq, change directions and take out the Iranian Air Force, Navy and all 27 nuke plants in 24 hours because these people are planning to wipe out Israel!”

Or this one: “We can’t have Exxon making 27 billion dollars in profits in one quarter. I’ll see to it they pay higher taxes.” What they really mean is, “We’re already getting 50% of their corporate profits in federal taxes and if it wasn’t for these guys, our cars would run dry in 30 days!”

And then there’s my favorite,” We’ll make sure everyone has healthcare whether they can afford it or not!” He really means that we already have the best healthcare system in the world and trial lawyers are responsible for half of the cost increases system wide, with skunks like John Edwards profiting from pain and suffering.

This whole code thing is a huge inside joke, designed to fool the dullards at the RNC, CBS, NYT, ABC, NBC, MSNBC and McCain ’08. They all take him seriously!

This whole thing is so typical of this big time jokester. That wacky, crazy Barack, using that “holier than thou” persona to crack us up—pretending to be the Messiah. Kinda like Reverend Jim from Taxi, but with out the controlled substances.

There are a number of other Barack slogans I am attempting to decode as soon as my Apple IIC comes back from the shop. If you don’t have time to download your own Apollo algorithms and buy an Enigma machine on Ebay, just keep watching this blog for more updates.

Tom Bliss – Phoenix AZ